Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light

"Night comes to the desert all at once, as if someone turned off the light."
-Joyce Carol Oates

I had the luck to hear this amazing woman, writer, poet, journalist speak yesterday.
Very powerful. I guess what she left with me is that it is so important to take times to ourselves
to do the things we love- and find that time alone.
She talked about how Emily Dickinson would write thoughts that came to her, mere fragmnets,
on receipts or scraps of paper throughout the day. She would be busy cooking or cleaning- taking
care of her family and loved ones. At the end of the day she would escape to her room and
as the door shuts she would excalim she had found freedom. It was there that she would
pull out the scraps and arrange them on the table to transform them into beautiful poetry.

We have the ability to make any change we want, small or large, through the mere shutting of a door, the extinguishment of a light, or perhaps like the night englufing the desert- all at once.

dust bunnies

"I think of a gesture of love as anything we do that helps others discover their humanity".

This quote really resonated with me. I'm not really sure what humanity means fully, but I do know that I find divinity in it when my heart is open.

Recently, my friend Jen and I were talking about the human experience, and it's apparent uniqueness. Humanity is so improbable! Sometimes it seems so much so that chance doesn't seem like a sufficient explanation. As Jen said to me, how crazy is it that we, who are made a the same stuff as clouds of dust floating in space, happen to have these molecules that have organized themselves so perfectly over millions of years as to become sentient beings! That we can sit together and have a conversation...type on this thing called a computer...give each other hugs and feel happy. How improbable! And really special. 

And you know? Actually this whole universe is boundlessly amazing and improbable. We could have been clouds of star dust, but instead we are complicated beings in an unfathomable complex web of systems. I am in awe of all of it.

And it doesn't end: www.earthsky.org/radioshows/53007/space-moth-surprises-astronomers

Gestures of Love

Got this on a forward. this reminds me of you.

Only love is big enough to hold all the pain of this world. - sharon salzberg

I think of a gesture of love as anything we do that helps others discover their humanity. Any act where we turn to one another. Open our hearts. Extend ourselves. Listen. Any time we are patient. Curious. Quiet. Engaged. I feel we become more fully human through our generorsity, when we extend to another rather than withdraw into ourselves. Conversation does this - it requires that we extend ourselves, that we open our minds and hearts a bit more, that we turn to someone, curious about how they live their life.

I learned this listening to Bernie Glassman describe a meeting between two homeless men. One was a "mole person." He lived underground in New York City, with thousands of other homeless people who never came to the streets. The other man lived in city parks. Bernie described his delight when the two reclusive and withdrawn men began talking to each other. A woman questioned whether there was any value in this conversation-the men seemingly had spoken more lies than truth. Bernie quickly replied: "It doesn't matter what they were saying. They were talking to each other."

I think about how much courage it took for those two frightened men to speak. Bernie knew the courage of their actions, the first tentative extension out from their painful, private experience. He wasn't concerned with their words. (And he knew that if they kept talking, they'd gradually become more truthful-for this is what always happens.)

Paulo freire described love as "an act of courage, not of fear." When we find the courage to approach those we fear, that is a gesture of love.

-Margaret Wheatley

WILD AND ALIVE WITH PEONIES

Em…so glad to hear about the farm…what an amazing opportunity to connect more with the earth. Llora than you for sharing your story…what a beautiful answer to your question. Gine we will go snow shoeing more in this life. Llora, Em, Gine, and Erin I am send you all so much love. I have a package waiting at home…I wonder what it is? Hmmmm I will be pretending to be sitting with all of you. In my brain Gine :^) I will create a world where you are closer to me.

I am at work. My mind is wondering…lustful for more and yet content for just this, just this breath. This moment of taking in your words…this moment of undeniable inspiration that comes from love…the strength that that love carries could part the red sea…my mantra lately is to have faith…faith that that universal love carries us to where ever we need to be and whatever we need to learn in this life. This is one of my favorite poems…it leaves me with such a potent image and feeling. Hope it does the same for you

Peonies
by Mary Oliver
This morning the green fists of the peonies are getting readyto break my heartas the sun rises, as the sun strokes them with his old, buttery fingersand they open ---pools of lace, white and pink ---and all day the black ants climb over them, boring their deep and mysterious holesinto the curls, craving the sweet sap, taking it awayto their dark, underground cities ---and all dayunder the shifty wind, as in a dance to the great wedding, the flowers bend their bright bodies, and tip their fragrance to the air, and rise, their red stems holdingall that dampness and recklessness gladly and lightly, and there it is again --- beauty the brave, the exemplary, blazing open. Do you love this world? Do you cherish your humble and silky life? Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath? Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly, and exclaiming of their dearness, fill your arms with the white and pink flowers, with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling, their eagerness

Amazing

That is amazing. We were both posting at the same time (roughly) yesterday connecting to similar ideas and I did not see your post until today.

 You wrote of the poem:

Breathing in, I have become space without boundaries.

I have no plans left.

I have no luggage.

The words "space without boundaries" feels particularly powerful to me right now. 

The mind and emotions have been limiting me recently and I am trying

hard to rectify this. Getting rid of the luggage is hard, but quite the goal.

I think for now I am content to be space without boundaries- thanks for this Llora.

Wherever you want to go, there you are

I suppose I have been drawn to checking our blog alot recently as well. Not sure why,

maybe because I love you all and it makes me happy to feel a little nit more of each other's lives with the distance.

   That sounds like a great opportunity Em. The farm will be such a good way to take quiet time and be out in the sunshine... once it comes back.

   Ellia- one of my favorite days from last year (2008) is when we went snowshoeing in the winter wonderland of your backyard. It probably becomes just a part of your life landscape that you are familiar with, but you are so lucky my dear. There is magic on the land. I am sure of it.

     I found a little magic yesterday in my own body. I was running on the indoor track at the school gym, which was tiring and liberating.    

     The magic is that I remembered I am in charge of my brain- no one else. If I don't like where  I am, what I am doing, or how I feel then I can change it. So, I wanted to be running on the river trail running at Wilson. I closed my eyes and I was there. I pictured every rock, fallen tree, river cane, cow, buckeye and sycamore tree. I ran the trail in my head with my eyes closed (opening every once in awhile to avoid running into walls and people) for a few laps.

This visualization was very powerful and positive for me and left me feeling much more

content and in control. It is easy to forget the power of the mind.

    No matter where we are in the world we can be where ever we want to be.

1/19/09

As a celebration of the new year my sangha does this cool thing. We ask a question to the 'bell oracle' (our facilitators have copied many wonderful poems and buddhist quotes and put them into our large bell that sits on the floor) We ask our question, breath 3 times and then draw the anwser from the bell. After I asked, "How can I find joy and creative inspiration in the midst of a hecktic schedule?"

The bell oracle said...

Breathing in, I have become space without boundaries.
I have no plans left.
I have no luggage.

(that's the poem under the heart, if you didn't notice)
wow. I folded my paper up and put it under my shirt right against my heart. This sentament is one that I really want to sink in.


look. this is my new mirror! I am starting a little wall sculpture. I was inspired by the altar we saw in the Thai restaurant in Nasheville. I love those things. and I could use some good joo, joo right now.
since arriving home my new year has been filled with self doubt, fear and worry about the future. But, all I can do is enjoy today. this moment is all that we have.

Thanks for posting, Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its working. you are inspirering me!